Estate Planning

by Donna Cameron

“That’s a beautiful sunset,” my sister says, referring to a photo I’d recently shared.

“Thanks. Actually, it’s a sunrise.”

“Where’d you take it?”

“Right here, from our deck.”

Long pause.

Finally, “That’s not possible.”

“What do you mean?”

“We can’t see sunrises here.”

“What?”

“We live on the west coast. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. We don’t get sunrises here.”

Longer pause.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No, what do you mean?”

“Of course, we get sunrises here. And the east coast gets sunsets. It’s just a matter of which direction you look in. If we look east in the early morning, we’ll see a sunrise.”

Longest pause.

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“Trust me on this,” I say, knowing that she won’t.

Calculating the odds:

The likelihood that my sister has ever risen early enough to see the sun rise: slim.

The likelihood that she now believes sunrises can be seen on the west coast: doubtful.

The probability that she knows what direction is east: fifty-fifty.

The possibility that I would ever name her executor of my will: a snow cone’s chance in hell.

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Donna Cameron is author of A Year of Living Kindly. She considers herself an activist for kindness, though admits to occasional lapses into bitchiness. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Writer’s Digest, Dorothy Parker’s Ashes, and many other publications. She lives in the Pacific Northwest where she loves outdoor activities that require little or no coordination.